Sassy Sunday - So Sad

So I'm a little upset this week. One of my kids is moving this week to Brisbane, another is going on holiday to Brisbane and won't be here next week and I only have next week left teaching the kids! OH NO!

Some weeks I do seriously wonder why I do this, it takes so much energy and effort with what I feel to be very little support. But these kiddies have really, truly grown on me.

Last week, one boy gave me flowers! Bless! he's such a cute kid, really smart and knowledgable too. He has wonderful parents, you can tell.
This week,, I got a cute little Santa decoration from another boy in my class. He is the life of the party that one and brings a new perspective to class each week.
I have a borther nad sister who show the whole class what Family is all about. They look out and help each other constantly.
I love that there is a little tomboy in the class too. All the girls are picking princess stickers then "I want Cars". Yes! Little miss Independent that one :)
I have my niece and her best friend too, and they are so intellectual. You can see thier minds ticking over with every word I say.
There are just so many good things about these kids, I am scared that my next class won't be as cool as them. Or as fun, or excited. But, I guess we'll see what happens in the coming weeks.

Alma Chapter 47

We had the missionaries over last night for dinner nad they shared a really good lesson with us about "Strategy"!

C is a big history/war buff so naturally the war chapters in the Book of Mormon appeal more to him.
This particular story was about Amalakiah (I know I spelt that wrong) and his progression to be the Lamanite King. It starts here... at Mount Antipas...

Amalakiah had been sent by the King to kill Lehonti. Lehonti was just a Lamanite with an army doing his thing. He wasn't an overly bad person, but he knew why Amalakiah had been sent, his reputation of being unscrupulous had preceeded him.
Looking at this though, strategically Lehonti is in the best position. He has a full view of everything around him and if a battle is to ensue, Amalakiah's men would be wearied from the tougher struggle up the hill. Amalakiah knew this and he sent a messenger up 3 times to Lehonti asking him to come down and talk with him. Lehonti refused each time. On the fourth time Amalakiah himself went ot the gate of Lehonti's Army and asked to talk with him again, and even said he could bring his men. Lehonti obliged this time.

Amalakiah told Lehonti of his plan. He told Lehonti that he would spare his life if Lehonti would come down in the night, surround Amalakiah's men, take them over nad then appoint Amalakiah as 2nd in Command. To Lehonti, this sounded like a pretty sweet deal. Keep his life, gain a bigger army and everyone is happy. So he agreed and everything went to plan. Except after a time Lehonti started to get quite ill and he died. WHat had happened was that Amalakiah ha done of his men slowly poison Lehonti to death. It was custom for the 2nd in command to take over the army when the leader died. Hence, Amalakiah gained control of both his army nad of Lehonti's. The story then goes on with Amalakiah killing the Lamanite King and devastaing the Nephites.

The moral of the story was that it is easier to stay on the high ground, keep control and your standards than it is to fall and try to climb back up. In Lehonti's case, if he had not gone down to the gate and met Amalakiah, he would not have heard teh plan and Amalakiah would have had to find another way to become King. Just like if we do not give Satan that little bit of lieniency in our lives, he will have to find someone else to bother.
Just as Lehonti went down the mountain, he opened the door to his death. If we open the door to Satan, we are letting him lead us to a Spiritual death. Unlike Lehonti though, we have repentance and the Atonement that can let us be forgiven and start the climb back up the hill for our strategic advantage.

I found the lesson quite good and fun. I'm glad they shared it with us and I hope you learnt something too :)

I Had "Mum" Moment

Yep... The childless one had a "mum" moment with her Husband...
You may have read my previous post about the new Missioanries in our ward, well, I told my Husband weeks ago how I felt about it, and how I wanted people to be more open to these new Missionaries. I vioced my opinion and I felt like he didn't listen to what I was saying, and I didn't want to overstep the mark so I left it alone.

So today when we were talking about things he mentioned that he had offered a Family Home Evening with the Missionaries and another couple we know. The reaction form the other couple was "I'll be sick that day". My amazing Husband's reaction to that was "We gotta give 'em a chance."

TA DA! My "Mum" Moment was, even though you think they aren't listening, and the don't care... They do. They listen and they care and they will respond to reason. I am so incredibly happy that he agrees with me. We had teh Missionaries over last night and they gave a great lesson to us and used a BOM War Story to do it... Alma Chapter 47. I'll blog about it a little bit later today... Just so happy right now I had to tell you!

Words Can Be Violent

I am a bit of a Pinterest fan and I have seen this picture on there a few times now...

I find it quite powerful and very poignant too. Sadly, recently I have felt the effects words in my life in a very negative way.

I guess today I am wanting to talk about how gossip and complaining can be harmful to people aswell as yourself.

There is a sad reality that if people complain to you about things they will most likey complain about you too. Some people feel the need to complain about everything and if there is nothing to complain about they will look for something. I have encountered this over the past month. I am being blamed for a circumstance that someone does not understand and I have been treated as if I "planned it all along". I've been diliberately left out and excluded and openly rejected in a public environment. I have been talked about maliciously behind my back or right in front of behind closed doors, even inf ront of me with open doors. All of this is happening to me because one person is unhappy and I ahve become the scapegoat for it. I can not control thier actions, and while it hurts and it is unfair and annoying, I can't let the situation control me. I am trying to make sure this other person does not see me upset or hurt by thier actions. I am trying to let it be like water off a ducks back. It is hard, especially when it is so blatant and they are spreading thier dislike of me to other people. But ultimately they are only hurting themselves.
I may be hurt now, but I will get over nad I will move on. It will make me a stronger and hopefully more understadning person, but for the other party in this... They have revealed thier true colours. How can other people trust them if they behave this way? How can they be asked for help if they treat people so harshly? It causes one to wonder why they are this way - Toxic. Over time they will drive people away from them and be left alone with no oe to turn too as all thier "friends" have been hurt or betrayed by them. I really hope it does not get to that stage for this eprson but I can already see it happening. I hope she realizes before it's too late what she is doing.

Another way words have turned my world on it's head recently is when things were said about me to my family that were not completely true. Some were twisted variations, some were completely wrong, some were misinterpreted nad some were never said. The worst thing about this situation is that who I used to be, my previous actions, spoke louder than the things I was trying to say, what really happened. It's a big lesson to me that actiosn do speak louder than words but also that if you decide to change you can. Which is something I decided about a year ago that I was really going to change who I was and who I was going to be. So I have been striving for that an dmaking changes in my life and it hurt initially that all that was not seen or taken into consideration but then I am grateful because I now feel I am closer to someone involved than I have been in a long time. Kind of a blessing wrapped in adversity.
This situation has also taught me that I need to be more clear in what I am saying and how I am saying things and also who I am talking too. It is a shame and a reality that people will always let you down, it is enevitable that you will let people down too, it's all part of learning whilst we are here on Earth. But I have made a concious decision to let go of people who are causing drama and confrontation in my life. It doesn't mean that I hate them or that I will never speak to them again, it just means that I am choosing to surround myself with people who help me feel happy, content and uplifted. People who are supportive and trusting. Untill I have a thicker skin and more strength to let the hurtful things slide I need some space. I need to re-coop my energy and my focus.

I want to be a good person, I want to be a faithful person and someone who is a good example of this church, so I pray that I can find this strength and this understanding soon.

Sassy Sunday

Good afternoon everyone!
Here is today's Sassy Sunday with a couple of tid bits on knowledge. Today's class was a revision class to test thier knowledge and what they ahve learnt so far. I was amazed at how much they actually took in! The were pulling names from thin air that we had talked about, they knew stories and feelings. They even remembered words we had explained like what "dumb" meant when Alma the younger was struck dumb. I was so impressed!

p.s. I dyed the jacket nad alter a pair of pants into that skirt :) I'm a little bit proud of it.

Sassy Sunday - Individual Worth

Sorry it's late...

Sassy Sunday - The Spirit of God

This would have to be my most favourite hymn in the history of ever!
I remember when I was a little tacker in primary it was the first hymn we started to learn - naturally someone as vocal as myslef was picked to be the words "we'll shout!" because i got to SHOUT them, :)

Obviously I have a more emotional connection with this hymn now - I have connected with it's power, with the message of hope nad the strength this hymn can instill in me. Today I needed that strength.

I've Gotta Keep Going

Part resignation, part motivation, part defeat, part defiance, but all my answer.

I have been struggling with an issue for sometime, for most of my marriage actually, and it's an emotional one. I haven't told anyone how deeply the emotion of this issue runs for me, not even my sisters who I tell EVERYTHING! Not even my Husband who knows EVERYTHING. And it's something that I've been wanting to fix for a long time, but I don't know how and well, I just don't know how! Anyway, my Husband has been an incredibly patient man with me about it, through all my tantrums, my whinging, my irrational rants and selfishness, he's stuck by me. And I can't figure out why, all it comes down to is... Love. He really, truly loves me. despite all my flaws, my moods, my anger, my scatterbrains, my shortcomings, he loves me. And boy do I love him. There is dead set no other man on this earth, now or ever, that could look after me and understand me like he does.
Anyway, tonight, we were talking and I felt impressed to work in my therapy book - I've been putting it off, and off because it is really confronting for me, it's really intimidating and scary, and I just don't have the energy to deal with that. But I felt really impressed tonight to look at it and work with it. So I did.
And OH THE TEARS! The crying, the sobbing, the anxiety, the rush of feelings and trying to understand. So many words and too much emotion! I couldn't put it all pen to paper. I got through a chapter and I had to put it down. I just started bawling my eyes out to God. I needed him to hear my session, I needed him to know that I was trying and I needed his help. I can't do teh pain anymore, I can't do the hurt, the dissapointment, the embarrassment, the anxiety, the maybes, the lies, the tip-toe-ing, the energy involved with it all, the hurt mainly, I just caouldn't do it anymore. I wanted so mnay things, I wanted to be normal, I wanted to forget things, I wanted C to forget things, I wanted it all to just go away. I can't do it anymore - it's too much! I needed Heavenly Father's help because I can't go it alone.
I cried some more... a lot more... and I started to look around my room whilst crying to Him. I saw a cross-stitch my Mum sewed for my birthday one year. It had my name and the meaning of my name on it, one line read "Obstacles are a way of life for her". When I was younger I was like "Yeah, I'm a gun cause I overcome allt hese obstacles." Tonight I couldn't help but laugh, yes, Obstacles... stupid in the way obstacles. And then I saw on my desk my Seminary sriptures. I picked them up and got back into bed. I asked God to help me one more time liek he did when I was 14. I asked him to help me with an answer, I needed an answer. I cried to Him again about my pain and my loss. I cried about C and I cried about how badly I need Him, Heavenly Father in our lives.
I sat there sobbing again... I opened them. The first word I saw was "Strengthen"... I took that as I need to man up, I replied to Him, that is why I'm calling for you, asking you to help me have strength.
The next word I saw was "Struggle" - Who would have thought that those two words are the search words on top of the page in the Topical Guide opposite each other? 100% sure that was pre-planned for me! I had to laugh at it, not mockingly, but because it was so relevant and true. I was crying for an easyway out, but things don't work like that.
My eyes roamed over the pages and there was light shining on one word "Strengthen" - this time on the page where the relevant scriptures were, not just the search word. Then I noticed light was shining on a scripture, 1st Peter 5:10, It reads; "But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you."
Did you know that there is over 1000 chapters in teh Bible, let alone verses, and that exact one is the one I found??? Oh how it spoke to me.
It didn't give me a massive lightbulb moment, but as I sat there and read it over it clarified my mind. It calmed me down from my hysterical crying, it made complete and perfect sense.
"After that ye have suffered a while" - I can't honestly expect to be inactive for so long and walk back in and everything be honky dory. I need to earn my peace, my salvation and just because my while is longer than I'd liek doesn't mean that the Lord's while ahs been fulfilled. I ahven't paid my dues in a manner of speaking, but when I have...
"Make you perfect...strengthen, settle you" - Perfect, is that not what we want. I wanted my memory to be perfect, to be clear of the pain, and he's told me it will be, I just need to endure a littel while longer and on top of that, he'll build up my strength. And he'll settle me. I read that in two ways, one was "calm down" which was instant and the second was that once all is said and done, I'll have my peace and my calm. I'll have no need to worry or fear, I just need to hold out a little while longer.
I bookmarked the pages and I closed the book. "I've gotta keep going." Clear as day, calm as the night... "I've gotta keep going" second time it was and felt stronger.

I've testified of my belief in prayer before and I'll testify to you again now, Prayer is real! It is a real connection between you and God. It is powerful. It is inspired and it works. Our answers may not be waht we wnat but they are what we need. I know this to be true, I have felt it again tonight. And I bear witness to you that the scriptures speak to us today just as fervently as they did when they were written, that God hears us in our sorrows and our joy and that without Him in my life I am nothing. He holds my hand and when I'm struggling, He picks me up and carries me further than I could ever hope for. I really do love Him, I love the entire Godhead, they have never let me downa nd they never will. I am grateful that I have found them again in my life and I say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Note: Chris is still in Sydney and not at home, wow this would have been a whole different story if he had been home.
I also know that this is a very raw post and very revealling I just want people to know that they are not alone in how they feel.

Sassy Sunday - Nephi 3:7

Week 3 of Sassy Sunday and I got my new skirt this week! YAY!

This is my parent's favourite scripture, and it is a very good one! It humbles me in a way, when things start to feel too hard it comforts me that I can do it if I search for the help in the right place. Heavenly Father won't ask something of me that he wouldn't help me do. Through Him I can acheive anything He asks of me.

We Are Family

I've got all my sisters and me! *singing*

Today in Primary things got to go back to normal routine! Thank goodness! We had music t calm them down before class again, we had them being little keen beans for saying prayers, and they had their beloved folders back again. But the best thing about today was the lesson on FAMILIES!
I find it easier and more effective to pick a principal out of the lesson and focus on that, having such a large class I want to ensure that all the class understand what I'm saying and I want to make it fun for them as well so we usually have a little colouring-in or drawing activity to go with it. This week, we had lots of pieces of paper to make into chains. whilst they were colouring-in I spent time with each child individually and we talked about who was in their family and wrote the names of each family member on a seperate piece of paper. We then looped the pieces of paper into a chain around thier wrists. Once I got around to each child we moved onto our next stage in our chains. WE ARE ALL FAMILY!
I was lucky in taht I had a convienent segway at my disposal; I have 3 cousins in my class. So we linked up thier family chains using aunties and uncles as the explanation, we then went on to link all the kids together explaining about how Adam and Eve's family flows all the way down to us so we are all family. The kids loved the chains and understood the bigger picture as they could see it.
Take a look!

Aren't they awesome!!!

I had to be careful pulling the chains apart as they wanted to keep them :)

High Expectations

I'll admit, I wasn't a huge fan of getting new missioanries after the two we had, but from what I'm seeing things are a bit unfiar towards the new ones.

I feel like these two missionaries are being shut out and avoided because they're not who we had. I see it in my husband who has said he doesn't like how they are late, how they can be arrogant, he doesn't feel the spirit as much, he doesn't feel a connection etc... I've had other people tell me that they don't want them in thier house!
I really feel that this is wrong. I'm not perfect, I was not going out of my way for these two missionaires previously either, and I need to change that. I used to tellt hem to call my husband because I didn't want to deal with the feelings I'd get when I went home and told him that they were coming over. That was wrong of me, very wrong. And I am sorry I behanved that way.
These two missionaries have given up 2 years of their life to come to a different country to teach the Gospel of Christ. What other reason should anyone need to have them over? What other reason should anyone need to be kind to them? They shouldn't need any other reason. Purely because they are human beings we should be kind to them.
Missionaries come and go, some leave an impact on you, others you leave an impact on them, all are on a learning journey just like the rest of us. No missionary is perfect, just like no one else is perfect. In reality they are 19 - 21 (approx) and the maturity level of most men that age is pretty small. So for them to make the choice to serve is a huge step in thier maturity and we should give them that respect.
I tried to discuss this with my man tonight and I feel like it was water off a ducks back. Then it came up again when we had company over and again... did not register, the video game Call of Duty was more important.

After today's humbling/apiphany I will be trying to have the missioanries over once a week at least. It is not right how they have been treated by myself and some people I know. I just hope there is enough time to right this wrong.

Just thinking about it, this could be a test for us, to ensure we weren't riding along on the previous elders' testimonies... hmmm...

Sassy Sunday - Primary Presentation

Yep this week was our ward's Primary Presentation and can I just say... I AM SO GLAD IT IS OVER!
I was amazed at how well behaved my kiddies were, especially since I ended up more than normal.
So a huge CONGRATULATIONS to all my little kiddies for thier fantastic efforts in keeping reverent. It really was a blessing.
For class we pretty much just ate cake and brownie and got stickers and ran really late :/ Whoops... But I just really am glad that next week we will be back into our normal routine and the world can make sense again! It really is amazing how much I rely on thier routine as well as they need it for stability and structure. Those kids are really well-behaved when they have thier routine, so for them to be so well behaved today really was a blessing, a huge blessing.

As for what I wore...

Yep... Those be my wedding shoes :) No point in letting them sit in my cupboard my whole life.

Trials are oppurtunities to shine

Want proof? Read this.

This post is about my sister who is also a Mormon, we have been our whole lives. And whilst bad things or challenging things may happen to good people, I believe that God will only give them to us if he can help us overcome them. Kylie shows us just that... She battles Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and she is the most motivated, creative and inspirational person I know. No lie... I look up to her alot. If you ask my Dad I always have. Read her story, count your blessing and pray for her strength. I know without a shadow of a doubt that she has this because she can overcome it, she has that spark to not let it defeat her, and to be perfectly honest, I believe that it is a big reason as to why she is so accomplished in what she does.

Note: I admire something in all my family members, please do not feel like Kylie is my fave, I love you all EQUALLY! Maybe my Husband a widdle bit more... but you get the idea.

Sassy Sunday - Divine Nature

I introduced Sassy Sundays this week...

And to kick it off I decided on showing off my awesome Glitter Heels! Since they were blue and Divine Nature is blue, they kind of just go together. But here you are!!!!

What do you think?

Apology

I apologize for Sassy Sunday not being up on Sunday... Our computer got a virus as out anti-virus software ran out... SORRY! Doing it now!

On the verge of crying

It's a weird thing, it just became son incredibly apparent to me... I need to do a Temple session. C and I need to do one together and soon.

I feel I've reached that point where I'm ready to go again. I can feel it more than think it. I feel a bit stagnant and wishy-washy untill I think about the temple, it feels right and it feels warm and brighter too. I feel drawn to it. I contemplated just getting in the car and driving to Sydney just to be at the grounds.
Right now I feel a bit defeated at home, a bit misunderstood, underappreciated and bitter. I am having a difficult time at work and it just seems my entire life, home, work, church, family, everything is in transition period. Nothing is stable. It's unnerving, it makes me feel a little scared and out of control. I feel as though one wrong word will just make me cry like a blubbering mess. Not those pretty cries like little kids, a big ugly adult cry.

Hence why I need the Temple to show me how everything makes sense again.

Sassy Sundays

I've been told that I have sass, once when I was told I asked him why he thought that. He replied with "your funny with your attitude and you always look nice, not prissy and not manly, but sassy!" I'll take that compliment, thanks!
Anyway, that was years ago now but I am a massive fan of aliteration and for my new post series I needed a descriptive word that would go with 'Sunday', so why not pick SASSY!

Sassy Sundays are all about looking good on Sunday when we go to church. It is about maintaining the standards of dress that we have in the LDS church regardless of social criticism and pressure. I've decided to take a picture each sunday prior to church and post on here what I wore.
I hope to be able to show people that being a Latter-Day Saint woman doesn't mean we need to look frumpy or old-school, we can still look fashionable, elegant, beautiful, unique just like everyone else.

By making the decision to stick to my morals (the dress standards) I will be showing Integrity (here's the segway!) which is one of the Young Womens Values.
As part of the Personal Progress program, there is a 10 hour project for each value, and I will be doing Sassy Sundays as my project for Integrity. I hope to be able to move Sassy Sundays across to my Styling blog one day soon!

Stay tuned, because tomorrow is the first Sassy Sunday!

My Power Statements

I wrote about a week ago about a wonderful Relief Society activity/lesson I went to here, and these are the power statements I got from of it.

1. I am a gorgeous and fit woman who knows her body. (My negative thought (ant) is that I am not as pretty as other people and I'm awkward.)

2. I am a successful and driven businesswoman in the fashion industry. (My ant is that I won't achieve which demotivates me)

3. I am a loving, caring, and approachable mother to my children and a supportive and understanding wife to my husband. (ok, I know I don't have children yet, but I am putting into practice good habits now for them. My ant is that I'm too selfish, not family orientated enough and will be too cranky and my kids won't want to talk to me... Very concerning for me)

4. I am a smart and talented individual, I have the ability to achieve my dreams. (My ant is again that I won't achieve or don't have the capability to do it so why try)

5. I am someone. I am a loved daughter of God, a loved wife and a loved mother. (My ant is that I am not loved or appreciated and I am not worth the trouble.)

6. I am spiritually growing everyday and I have a personal connection with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. (My ant is that I am going backwards in the Gospel)

7. I have the ability to achieve beyond my targets at work and service my clients effectively. (My ant is that I can't do my job, I don't know enough or have the skills to achieve my goals and I won't make my bouis and we'll have little money. It is like adomino effect here.)

8. I am smart with my money and use it effectively to live within my means. (My ant is that I just throw money away with no return and that we will never be financially independent)

The purpose of these 8 statements is for me to say them out loud to myself, morning and night, and each time I say them to visualize how I want to be in my head. Each time I do this I am training myself to believe and become these things. I am bringing them to the forefront of my mind and conciously thinking about them.

So these are my 8 power statements... There is no better time to change than the present!

Tonight

I'm going to my sister-in-law's tonight which is going to be great so I'll have my Affirmations all ready to be released for you tomorrow!!!!! Sorry it's taken so long... I wanna make sure they are perfect! I need maximum impact on my progression!!!

When You Just Get It

I just got home from a fantastic Relief Society meeting tonight.
It was titled "Choose To Become" which kinda intrigued me, but since I'm in Primary with teh little tackers these days I was craving some adult spiritual conversation, so I was so there! (Plus it was only one suburb over from where I live...)
My sister-in-law organized it and bot is she full of the spirit. I just feel like when I'm talking to her, or rather when she is talking to me, it just all makes sense. Like she really understands and applies the Gospel, she can see things on a different level to everyone else and it just blows me away! When I was younger (she married my brother when I was 12/13 so she's pretty much always been around) I used to think she was too serious, but now I realize that she's not serious, shes intune! Hopefully this weekend i'll be sleeping at her place for a night... I'm so stoked for it!
Anyways, back to tonight, "Choose To Become", well, become what exactly? To become who we want to be!
I know that seems pretty straight forward and obvious, but She really broke it down wonderfully!
She discussed self-talk or "ants" which is "automatic negative thoughts" which we all have, and how we don't even realize we are doing it, because it'sa automatic. For example, in my job, I am moving into a new role, which is exciting but also nerve-racking, questions like "will I be good enough?" "Do I even know what I'm doing?" "Will I reach my targets?" "Can I even learn this much in this timeframe?" and with these questions come these thoughts... "I'm not good enough." "why did they pick me, I can't even make target." "It's overwhelming, I can't do it." "I'm not on my client's level, I don't understand them" all this negative talk is going on in my head and I didn't even realize untill tonight.
It was discussed how we can turn these negative thoughts into positives and re-train ourselves into believing positive thoughts nad ultimately becoming those positive thoughts. And coupling this with earnest prayer to Heavenly Father on our own individual self worth will bring us a sense of peace, motivation and understanding... Personally, I am all for peace, motivation and understanding!
She showed us what she has been doing recently to combat her feelings of doubt, anxiety and low self-esteem.

In this little bag we have 8 pieces of paper, 8 heart stickers and chocolate... the chocolate goes without saying, it's a daily requirement. But what we were challenged to do is to recognize our "ants" and turn them into power statements using the words "I AM" or "I CAN" rather than "I will" or "I should". Making these positive thoughts become "here and now" so we can visualize them in our heads, so we can see them and feel them.
For example. an "ant" may be that I feel I am unattractive to my husband for whatever reason, a positive power statement may be that "I am a beautiful and attractive woman to my Husband and I love him with an unbreakable bond" or somethign along those lines.
The next step is to seal these statements with real intent (the heart sticker) and every morning and every night to read them out loud to yourself. Yes, you may feel like a doofus to start but perservere! Saying things, not just thinking them often brings a sense of reality to the words and by saying them morning and night, you are prompting yourself to be those things.
I really connected with the lesson. I feel that self-doubt, low morale, feelings of being overwhelmed, all those negative thoughts, they all really stack up against you and they do tear you down. Maybe not all at once, but slowly over time, and these little power statements combined with prayer, really can influence our lives for the better.
Heavenly Father wants to help us, if we ask him to help us be better people, to love harder, to be stronger, to understand clearer, there is nothing to hold us back from asking for his help so long as it is righteous. And if it is, he will not hold back if we ask. I know this to be 100% true... If we reach out to him, for his love, to know of his love for us, he will show us. He wants too. And often, self-confidence can stop us from talking to him "oh he won't mind if I skip my prayers this one time" or "why does he want to hear from me, it's only me" these thoughts can stop us from seeking him out, as silly as it sounds. And these power statements can help us seek him...
I'm going to give them a try, I've got nothing to lose... Only something to gain...
So please excuse me whilst I go away and work out my worst thoughts and combat them with powerful, meaningful positive ones... I'll let you know how I go.

Gettin' Crafty

As part of my 101 things in 1001 days I've decided to cross-stitch my oma's favourite hymn. I stand all amazed. My sister picked up the material for me the other day and now I just have to get to work.
It's funny because doing this reminds me of when I was younger and my mum was Young Womens president. All the young women were doing cross stitches for a quilt for someone's baby. I wanted to do it with them so I was cross-stitching too during sacrament meeting. I would hide my cross-stitching stuff in my scripture case, as if everyone wouldn't know haha.
Ah good times...
Anyways, I've started the writing as back stitch and will cross stitch s pretty border I think...
Here's the start anyway...

CTR Rings

Yeah... CTR!

My class the other week all got CTR rings. So cute, they were all so excited!

Not What You Expect

A certain someone was asked to serve today!
That certain someone being my husband!
I'm pretty sure they'll properly call him next week at church and it is something that you wouldn't usually expect, but it is something I know he'll be good at. Very organized this one...

CTR Rings

Wel, we got new scriptures but I also decided to get something for my little primary kids!
Each kid is getting a CTR Ring!
Earlier we had a lesson that asked the kids to look at thier CTR ring and tell me what it meant to them, no one had one. And convieniently, today's lesson asks the same thing, so I am prepared this time with them.
I really hope they like them, I know a couple who will and will probably wear them for weeks to come as they wore thier missionary badges for a while too :)
So cute!
I'm hoping to get a photo of all the kids with thier fists out with the rings on, so please someone remind me before all teh kids bail from Primary this afternoon!

New Scriptures

My Husband and I recntly went on a trip to Tasmania to visit family and on our way back we came through Sydney.
My awesome sister picked us up and drove us out to the Sydney Temple. We got there just in time to duck into the Distribution Centre to get C a set of scriptures. He was pretty specific in what he wanted nad thankfully they had them! He got a Quad with a button on it to close them, they were black and had thumb indexing.
I already have a quad but it is missing the last section of Revelations, which I discovered in my seminary class when I couldn't find the scripture. So I decided I wanted new scriptures too. I got hard cover triple combinationa dn a hard cover bible. Both black. They have thicker pages (apparently lesser quality) but I think it's better for writing on which is what I wanted. I got a study case as well, it holds scriptures, pens, markers, post-it notes, note pad etc, It's cool.
I also got a CTR ring for each kid in my class too. They are the CTR class so this is cool, they can look back in thier folder where they coloured it in and then get to have one for themselves. I'm pretty excited to give it to them!

Best quote from my class this sunday

I have a brother and sister in my class...

Me to sister: How can we show our love for other people?
Sister: By sharing our toys?
Me: that's perfect, we can, and who can we share our toys with?
Brother: Me!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Equal and Hand in Hand

As I am in Primary now I don't go to Gospel Principals with my Husband, today on our way home he was telling me about a situation that came up in class that really annoyed him.

The situation was that they were discussing the different roles of men and women, there was an investigator in the class and he said something along the lines of "So men are better than women because they have a higher power."
Now this is not true and the Missionaries (who teach the class) tried to explain that men and women are equal and just have different roles, having the Priesthood does not outweigh the importance of rearing children etc, they tried to explain that both sexes are created equal.
At this point I'm not saying anything and just letting my Husband relay what happened to me, but I am pretty backed up because I am a firm believer in the two genders working together, not one above the other.
C continued the story, saying that the investigator, even after the Missionaries tried to explain goes "Yeah, but in the end men have more power than women."

This is one of the reasons why I love my Husband, it really annoyed him that this investigator couldn't let go of the "Men v Women" battle. C sees it as a partnership, not a fight. And the fact that he was offended by the remarks made in class shows me that he has a great amount of respect for our marriage.
I am so grateful that I have found myself an eternal partner that is not discriminate to me. Sure he may joke about it, but he never means it to offend.
He cooks, he cleans, he does his own washing sometimes when I'm too lazy, he does grocery shopping, he is really a wonderful man.

And I am so grateful that we have each other.

Control Freak Mother

Yep... I came to a sad realization this week that if I don't do something soon to change that, THAT is who i am going to be.

I was writing the email to the Primary Presidency saying that I will be away this week because I am visiting Family in Tassie. And as I was writing this email I saw just how much of a "routine" I had got my class, or myself, into.

I was writing about who can sit next to each other and who can't and why. Writing about their folders and to ask the kids what they want in them. I was writing about when they can and can't get drinks and go to the bathroom, which tables to use, and so on...

When I read it back I saw what I dreaded... The controlling-over-bearing mother.

I have grown to really care for my class and I've worked hard with them to get to where we are now, and I am so scared that one week of change will result in my kids going back to square one.

Fingers crossed the presidency agree with who I would like to teach my class, because I know that the class get off easier with me so when I come back they'll love me! haha...But we'll see what happens...

I just need to work on letting go, and releasing control...

Back to Nature

Here's a thought for you...
Why did God create trees but not houses?

Ok, other than the obvious "for us to learn, grow, develop etc" answer...

I was taken camping last night by my wonderful husband, he loves getting outdoors and all that rough n tumble stuff, with the spiders and the bugs and the dirt and the growing things...
But I was really surprised how just being outside in the middle of nowhere made me feel!

I felt at peace, I felt calm, I felt clear minded. It was awesome. I didn't have any concerns or worries whilst we were out there, I was just happy. Just us.

I believe that God wants us to get out there into nature to feel that peace and clarity. There is nothing out there to distract you, it's just beautiful to sit there and reflect. You instantly feel closer to Him. He wants places like that to be here for us, so we can get closer to him. That's what I believe anyway. I felt it strongly last night and especially this morning.

Our short little trip out there actually energized me too. When we came home I felt productive. I had the energy to tackle things I've been avoiding, I wanted to clean our house, I wanted to get that open, calm feeling from the bush in my home...
I know this probably sounds like crazy ramblings, but I just felt Heavenly Father touch my life this past 24 hours like he never has before, and I may not be able to put it into words properly, but I ma grateful it's there.

they say all good things come to an end

This is what they say, but does that make it true?

We sadly bid one of the best missionaries we have ever met a sad farewell yesterday.
He is amazing!
He has endured C's many questions and had the strength of spirit to discern the best answers. He's been able to connect with C on a personal level, he's understood and experienced all C has had concerns about or felt. He was without doubt sent to our ward at this time for my Husband. I know that sounds selfish, I know Elder Ulmer was not sent here only for C but I know C was in our Father's plan for Elder Ulmer. The journey he has guided C on is amazing. I don't know if I would ever be able to thank him enough for the wonders he has done to our family.
His companion, Elder Choi, is just as strong and just as understanding aswell, he has the humor of a hyena! HILARIOUS! And he is still in our ward (I think C would have cried if he lost both his missionaries.)! So we still get the blessings of his spirit.

So is this then end?

I think not! We will still remain friends with our Elders, and now we have a new friend. Elder Monson.  We met him tonight and he seems very knowledgeable too. He is more seasoned, i guess you could say, since he's been out longer than the other 2, and he is very nice, polite and friendly. He seems more "nerdy" which is great for me, as I had NO idea what was being talked about half the time when the other boys got talking.
So this is not coming to an end, it's just continuing at a different pace.

Same race, different car...

It's A Lifestyle, Not A Trend

Because I am throwing myself back into the Gospel I have recently discovered a new point of view on the Church.
It's something I have always heard and said and kind of understood but now I really understand!

I've talked before about my Brother and FSIL and how they are coming back/investigating the church, as well as my husband (And I am extremely grateful for that!) but over the past month or so I am seriously starting to see why living the Gospel and not just skimming the Gospel is really how it works.

For example, my husband who is really putting in the effort these past couple of weeks, has been finding it difficult to find the motivation to go to classes (after Sacrament) because he doesn't know people. Now I know a way to overcome that is to meet people, but C isn't the most outgoing of people. That's actually one of the reasons I love him so much, I get to do all the talking :)
So every week he asks his best friend, being my brother, if he's coming to church. And each week my brother says yes (except for when he is in Sydney). And then each sunday my husband gets a call or a message with a reason as to why they (my brother and FSIL) are not coming. It cuts C up every time.

But more recently it have been more annoying, than hurtful, to him. Which I found interesting. C is more annoyed now about it because he hears all this talk about re-activation and the Priesthood, and doing all these things but when it comes down to it, C is by himself. And that is hard. It's hard to go and do something when the whole time you've been buddying up with someone else to do it as a team. It's one of the reason C started to fall away in the first place, because he saw all these people say all the perfect things but never saw thier actions support it.

This "team effort" thing has really frustrated me though because I don't want C to get his testimony from someone else, there is no substance with that, you need to have your own testimony. You need to make decisions by yourself and act on your own sometimes, not hold hands with someone else (unless its your wife and kids, that's ok.). But these past couple of weeks I have seen that C is building a testimony of his own because my brother isn't coming. Because he is forced to do things on his own, he is having the experience, the feeling, the learning on his own. I was expecting to hear "I don't wanna go now" after we found out it was just us today (we also got a message from my SIL saying thier son (our nephew) had the flu so wouldn't be there today.) but instead I just heard a bit of frustration then he started getting ready. No prompting from me.

That showed me that I need to have more faith in his faith. More trust in his desires. He showed me today that he does have a testimony, and he is working on it, and he is hurt that he isn't doing it with who he had planned to do it with, but he's still doing it. I love him, and I love that he is coming to church and making an effort. He even helps me with preparing my Primary lessons. He is a wonderful man and I am grateful for him in my life. I know without a shadow of a doubt that he could be an immovable pillar of Faith and Righteous Example. I can see it in him, It's like we just need to break the glass to release it, it's so close.

But back to my original point, this Gospel requires us to not just talk the talk but also walk the walk. It's all well and good to be full steam ahead with your progress but if you don't build and work on your testimony, your own personal testimony, that drive and passion will just wilt and fall away untill it's gone. This Gospel is true, and that's why it is important that we treat it as a lifestyle, not this month's latest thing.

One month won't get you Eternal Life.

Overwhelmed

Recently I have been overwhelmed with gratitude for my class.
I teach in Primary and I have been praying hard that it goes ok. I have a young class and both my husband and I believe that the first 5 years of a child's life are THE most important, so that being the age of my class, I'm feeling a little bit of pressure. (Note: This pressure is self inflicted, not one person at church has ever made me feel like I need to do better, they have all been wonderful about my new calling.)
So I want to share with you the journey I've gone on with one of my kids, and why I am so grateful for my class and most importantly, the power of prayer and how my prayers (and a lot of other people I am sure) are answered.

I have a young boy in my class and his father came in to let me know that if he was disruptive or being naughty that I could always bring him out to his dad. This boy's father was really nice about it and went on to say how other teacher's have had problems with him before and how some people don't know how to handle him and that it's ok if I need to take him out of class for a little bit. This family I have a lot of admiration for as they deal with alot! And they are always so happy, caring and loving, not only can you see it, but you can feel it too.
I personally hadn't had issues (mind you it had been one week at this point) with this child and he reminded me alot of my little brother too.
Anyways a couple of weeks went by and I still had no big issues, infact I find this kid HILARIOUS! He is an absulote hoot. He says the funniest things, like one class I asked "What do Missioanries do?" his reply, "Missioanries don't show thier private parts. And missioanries don't look at rude pictures either." He being completely serious about it and it was so hard not to laught at how cute he was! He was 100% correct and even better was the lesson was on us preparing to be missionaries now, and it is a good lesson to learn to not look at rude pictures and exposing yourself, so he wasn't wrong. But it occured to me then that other people (I can think of 3 already) would have been horrified at his response and maybe not reacted how he would expect. (does that make sense?) So it became a bit clearer to me why his father had come in and talked to me about him. It came down to perception.

As the weeks went by this kid had his good days and his bad days, he always wanted to be first, but never threw a tantrum when he wasn't. He always wanted to speak, but mainly it was to understand or clarify in his own way. For example, he would start to tell you a story about his family which would seem completely unrelated but at the end there would be a question like "is that [insert name] being a missioanry?".All these little things started to appear in my mind as to why other teachers maybe found him a bit more difficult or challenging. I'm not going to sugar coat it, sometimes this kid can be disruptive (as can all kids in the class), sometimes he says things diliberately because he knows it's the wrong thing to say, but I firmly believe that if prayers weren't being said, I wouldn't be abel to see past that and that he is actually a really smart kid and is getting what we are talking about, if he's saying the wrong answer on purpose than he does know the right answer (confusing much?). He just has so much energy and excitment his little body is too small for it.
It kinda makes me feel bad for my little brother (the one this kid reminds me of) because I perceived him to just be annoying or naughty, or distracted or whatever, when he usually just wanted to help, or just to know things, to learn, he always wanted to know things (a little sponge he is/was), and looking back, if I had prayed for understanding with him, would things be different now?

One week his family pulled into the car park about the same time we did and I had cupcakes for the class, as I was getting out of the car all you could hear was "HELLO TEACHER" and this kid hanging out the back of the car waving at me. It was adorable. I asked him to help me carry the cupcakes inside and he was so excited that he knew first that we were getting cupcakes. His dad and I talked the following week and his dad told me how much his son was liking my class. (I WAS SO EXCITED!)

Over the weeks I've been touching base with his parents to let them know that he really is doing well in class and that he is well-behaved and trying to focus. If they could take the time out to talk to me about him I can take the time to talk to them. I think they appreciate it...

So today, in class, everyone was a bit hyper and not paying attention so we cut the lesson short. But as the other kids were mucking around, this kid started to ask me questions about the story we had read. And he was relating it back to the story we read last week! HE GOT IT! This kid totally understands! I was so proud of him. So as my husband and I were leaving I saw his mum in one the rooms we walked past. I stopped and called her over and told her how awesome her son is. I told her about his questions and his behaviour and how when he was away two weeks ago I truly missed him. And she told me that he loves me as his teacher and that she thought I was doing a great job at it.

Those two little comments just filled me with relief, with excitement, with happiness, with gratefulness and peace.

Without prayer, I wouldn't be able to see all the good in this kid, I wouldn't have patience, I wouldn't have understanding, I wouldn't be capable of teaching these kids. I'm being completely serious when I say this, My prayers are being answered. Simple prayers for help are working. All these things, Patience, Understanding, Love, Knowledge, Compassion, they are all things that don't come easily to me and with my class they do. These kids are teaching me all these things. They are teaching me to be a better teacher, a better mother (one day), a better friend, a better member of the Church. I am grateful for them and thier little minds, thier little attitudes and personalities. Little people with big personality. I don't really know how to express my gratitude for the answers to my prayers and also the prayers of others. They are felt and they are important, no matter how small. So thankyou, it is overwhelming the support I have received.

In closing on this post... I LOVE THIS KID SO MUCH!

He makes my week :)

PoS Scriptures Part 3

I have been meaning to post this for two weeks, when I first did it, so for those of you who are new or don't remember, I am re-doing my Personal Progress!
This scripture is found in Abraham 3: 24-27

"24 And there stood one among them that was like unto God, and he said unto those who were with him: We will go down, for there is space there, and we will take of these materials, and we will make an earth whereon these may dwell;

 25 And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them;

 26 And they who keep their first estate shall be added upon; and they who keep not their first estate shall not have glory in the same kingdom with those who keep their first estate; and they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever.

 27 And the Lord said: Whom shall I send? And one answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I, send me. And another answered and said: Here am I, send me. And the Lord said: I will send the first."

 Let's strat at verse 24 shall we;

24: My understanding is that this verse is highlighting that this took place before the world was, so in otherwords, before Earth was created. And when it says "where these may dwell" the word 'these' is refering to our pre-earth spirits.

25: "And we wil prove them herewith" is saying that we (mortals/spirits) are to be tested, to receive trials and adversity as well as rewards and blessings to test us. To see is we will obey the commandments or if we will put more stock in our own understanding. I've heard it described as a school before, Earth is where we learn and grow to aim for Exhaltation and school is where we learn and grow to get a job/diploma etc.

26: "And those who keep thier first estate shall be added upon" Now I take this to mean that those spirits that chose to continue to follow Heavenly Father and Christ will receive a body of flesh and bones (Mortality/Earth). 

"And those who keep not thier first estate shall not have glory" So those spirits that chose Lucifer's plan (No agency, or ability to make decisions for ourselves) won't receive thier bodies and will remain in a spiritual form and can not progress further.

"And those who keep thier second estate shall have glory added upon thier heads for ever and ever" I like the sound of forever goodness! But this means that those of us who have received our bodies and have come to Earth (Second estate), if we keep it (be obedient, keep the commandments, develop our learning and understanding of the Gospel etc) we can receieve glory forever. The Glory I believe it is talking about is after Judgement with the degrees of Glory being; Celestial, Terestrial and Telestial. This is where we can live forever after we pass away and received judgment from God (receive our score for our school exam, to continue with the school analogy from before). We are aiming for Exhaltation wihich is found in the highest part of the Celestial Kingdom. But to reach any other these kingdoms we must have a body.

27: Heavenly Father created the Plan of Salvation and part of the Plan was for a Savior to essentially take the punishment for our sins to allow us to be clean enough to dwell with God. Heavenly Father asked who to give this great responsibilty and choice to and there was Christ's reply; Immediate, full of love and understanding, completely unselfish. He wanted no recognition or glory for what he would do, he just wanted us all to return to Our Father. 

The second reply was Satan's; He was after the Glory, he was after a "sure" way that it would happen, he didn't want us to choose how to live our lives here on Earth, but to take control and regardless of our decisions to be made to return to God. I also thought it was interesting that he replied second after Christ, it reminded me of a jealous child wanting attention from thier parents.

Christ was chosen. 

As I was pondering this scripture it occured to me how great a love Jesus has for me, as an individual and also how I made the decision to be here, I thought of Moses 1:39, and how it discusses the potential outcomes for us as well, being immortality (received by everyone who has a physical body) and Eternal Life (Exhaltation).

How this scripture affects my actions:

Obviously I made the decision in the Pre-Existence to come to Earth, to have my free-agency and to be tested for Exhaltation, so if I was able to make that decision then, knowing full well that there would be horrible and difficult times for me, as well as wonderful and exciting times, then I can develop my decision making skills to continue to make wise decisions here in this life. Knowing this gives me a sense of strength in tougher moral decisions and also more determination to choose righteously. Also thinking before I speak is a good idea...

How this scriptures increases my understanding of my identity:

I know that I do have the strength to be able to deal with trials, I mean I'm not perfect and things have happened to me, whether by a consequence of a decision I've made or by indirect/uncontrollable means, things have happened. And often it feels like you can't cope or you don't have the will, ability or strength of character to handle it, but Heavenly Father planned everything down to the last detail, with myself and my life included. He knows what I can handle and what I can't and he knew all of this before I came to Earth, otherwise he would not have planned for a Savior for the world, or not chosen so carefully who he would send. Heavenly Father takes the time to listen to my prayers and respond to them, my little infrequent prayers and I know this from this scripture becasue this scripture clarified for me some questions I had been asking for a while. He guided my mind to choose this scripture out of the list and he helped uncloud my mind when I was reading them to see and feel the words I needed. He knows me as me and that gives me a sound knowledge that I am his daughter.

How this scripture has strengthened my faith:

For His Plan to be so intricate and inspired it is definately something that a mere man could not have construed. For it to feel so right and blissful when I read, learn, discuss and ponder it, it has to be divine. This increases my faith as well as my previous paragraph on him knowing me as an individual, that too is a strong motivator and testament in my growing faith in Him and his scriptures and His Plan.

What do you think?

I'm Still Here

I've got a few things I want to post up here, I've done more on my Personal Progress, and more about my Primary class, there's also more on our lessons with the missionaries and a few other bits and pieces. I've just been focusing so much of my time and energy on my new business that time has escaped me with everything else!!! But I will be back soon! Promise!

Not all Peaches and Cream

This is something I feel is pretty important to know...
Not everything goes 100 smooth when re-activating/investigation/continuing in the church. The Church itself is perfect but people aren't...People make mistakes! It's part of being here, on Earth, to learn!
 The reason I have decided to bring this up is because of my darling husband, my brother and my FSIL. As I've posted before, My FSIL is investigating the church and my brother and husband have also decided to come back and prepare to receive the next Priesthood.
Part of that process involves meeting with our Bishop. None of us know our Bishop very well but me and my brother had his brother as one of our leaders when we were younger and his brother is good friends with our Mum and Dad.
So when we went in to meet with Bishop I don't think everybody was fully prepared for what was going to happen.
Chris and I went in together, being married and all, and we had our discussion, it started all ok, but then things didn't go as C had expected. He had expected a "you are forgiven, you can receive the Priesthood now." response. Which is not what we got. What we did get was "Ok, you've done the right thing by telling me, now we need to establish your spiritual habits to continue this process." Only the way it was delivered was alot harsher, I guess, and abrupt. The way it was delivered really upset my husband and he shutdown. I could feel his anger and I could feel everyword Bishop was saying deflect off C like it was nothing. I was so scared that C was just going to give it all up and revert to his comfortable ways. I also knew he wasn't truly sorry. (Which he confirmed when I asked him later.)
Me on the other hand, I was balling my eyes out uncontrollably. I was sorry, I am sorry, and I've been so scared of the day I would admit my transgression that I've been avoiding it like the plague. And I thought what was asked of either of us was extremely light to what I had expected. I don't agree with how it was realyed to both C and I but I do agree with the message and what it is that he was trying to tell us.
1. Pray together as a family (Family being me and C)
2. Read and study the scriptures together
3. Focus our attention on each other, helping and serving each other.
To me these things all seem pretty basic in the Gospel and I was fine with it.
But then things went a step further and he told C (didn't ask C) that he was going to get a "mentor" and that he would start Home Teaching. I straight away knew who I wanted as a "mentor" for C... TODD! (BTW, This discussion with Bishop happened a fortnight ago, so Todd talking to me happened yesterday...) But C was not comfortable with Home Teaching and he didn't understand why he needed a "mentor" when he had the missionaries.
Now having prayed hard for understanding on this I do not fault our Bishop, he is just a man doing his best.
C does not respond well to being "told" what to do. You don't "tell" C you "ask" C. Or you ease him into it, in his time. He has made many changes to accomodate the Gospel in the past 3 months to be told he was going to start Home-Teaching is mighty scary and imposing on him. He suffers from anxiety and does not do overly well in new situations, especially with new people. And when it was said in our discussion with Bishop taht C was to start Home-Teaching, I didn't feel quite right. But I'm putting that down to my protectiveness over my Husband. But the reality is that "whether by my own voice or the voice of my servants, it is the same" (D&C1:37-38ish I think...) So If Bishop has asked it of us, The Lord has asked it of us. So I think my next challenge is going to be explaining that to C, I will definately need the Missionaries help on that one... Anyway, bottom line is C came out of Bishop's office angry, frustrated, confused, annoyed and bitter. ALL the things I didn't want him to be.
After we came out, my brother and FSIL went in.
That night we all met at my Mum and Dad's place (Mum and Dad were at the hospital) with teh Missionaries. They were interested to know how everything went because they were excited about teh progress of everyone in our little group. And I felt so sorry for them when they got the answers.
My FSIL was heart-broken. She had been told that she couldn't get baptized untill they were married or if Leon slept in a different room. (Note: Due to medical reason he sleeps in teh same room as her, he is her carer and she NEEDS someone there at all times and her family live interstate.) This depressed her more than made her angry as she knew the Gospel was true. She had had an experience that very Sacrament Meeting that spoke so clearly to her that it was true, and she felt cut down so quickly afterwards, I felt horrible for her too. She was so sure about that she didn't want to waste anymore time, she wanted to be baptized.
My brother was Angry, much like C because he was also told that he could not receive the Priesthood [as yet]. ANd also because of what was said to his Fiance'
And then C shared his emotions with the Missionaries too.
Both my Brother and C said that they didn't see the point or know if it was worth it if this is what was going to happen. C actually said that he didn't see the point and was prepared to give up.
I sat there listening to it all, knowing that this was a make or break moment in 3 people's lives. And I prayed. I prayed hard for them all to soften thier hearts and I prayed hard that the Missionaries would know what to say. I felt so bad for teh Missionaries and when they responded, the empathsized, they explained, they understood... I felt so proud of them. They did the best they could and I know Heavenly Father helped them that night.
I said my piece that night aswell which was "Bishop is a man like us and he's not perfect. Communication may not be his strong point. I don't agree with how we were told but I do agree with what he's asked us to do."

Since that night I have talked to Bishop once, I was supposed to meet with him this past Sunday, as was C, but C was sick and I am caught up in Primary, so hopefully this week coming.
I know C is trying to avoid him and is considering going to our Stake President, as is my Brother and FSIL.

I guess what I'm trying to get across with this post, is that, no matter who you are, where you go or what you do, there will always be personality clashes, people you don't like, or can't get along with etc... The real test is if you let them beat you, or if you become the bigger person. When things get tough, running away doesn't solve it, and if anything is really worth it, it won't be a walk in the park. Where is the growth and development if it's all just handed to us on a silver platter? If it gets tough... push through... the silver lining will be visible on the other side.

You Never Know...

You never know who is reading what on the great big interweb...
I had an experience this sunday about it, which really caught me off guard 'cause I thought only my two sister's were reading this blog...

When I was younger, pre-marriage days, I was dating this guy who lived in a group house, one of the other guys who lived in the house, we'll call him Todd, well I came to really respect him and I'd like to say we were friends. Well, these days were both married, he has some adorable children and his wife is amazing. Anyways, Todd came up to me on Sunday and told me that his wife had shown him one of my posts. And how it had made him feel bad. And how he wanted to do more for C from now on.
I really had no idea what to say or do or anythign because I was in shocked!
I had never, ever, ever wanted to make anyone feel bad in themselves or for other people from my blog, especially this one, and I also couldn't for the life of me think of what I had written that would have had that affect on him, and I also had no idea anyone knew about this blog!
I seriously have a great deal of respect for Todd and for him to say these things to me was head spinning.
So when I got home I looked up my little blog and tried to find the post he read. I think it was this one.

But what I want Todd to understand is that he has helped our family... He came to C's 21st Birthday party and he also gave my Dad a blessing the night of his accident. Those 2 things alone have had a massive positive impact on our family. And it's little things like that, that don't seem big to other people, that make the most difference. And just him coming up to me on Sunday and talking to me about it just overwhelmed me with love. It just touched me that people out there do care about C, they really do.
You see, C has spent nearly his whole life in the same ward and has never really ventured beyond it untill we got together, so many people know his family, but not him.

But if Todd does want to hang out with C, I will definately not say no, I think he would be a huge positive influence on C, and they are alot more simmillar than they realize... Oh and C needs fishing tips, he's never caught one.

Primary Week 2 - Improvement!

As I told you last week, this week's lesson was on Missionary Work!
I did end up making little misisoanry badges, with the help of my future SIL, and I heard they were a BIG hit!
One little boy who tried not to come to class ending up walking out of class with his chest puffed out, saw his Dad and starting to point proudly at his chest wheer his badge was... Gorgeous!
I also got thier folder's ready and each child has a different colour. There was one name on the roll who hadn't been in a while and I thought about leaving hers till next pay, but knowing my luck if I did that she would show up! So I didn't, and guess what... She showed up yesterday! So hopefully having her own folder and badge all printed ready for her made her feel more welcome.
I also found it interesting yesterday that my niece was so quiet. She is usually pretty talkative, except around new people, but she has been in this class now for 6 months, I'm the only new person and well, I'm not new to her... It was so strange, so I'm not sure what to do there.
But as for thier focus... Having teh folders and the hand outs ready for them to look at as we moved through the lesson really helped. When I told them the scripture stories I half acted them out as I walked around the room (I also put thier chairs around a table so they couldn't move around... HAH!). When teh lamanites pulled out thier swords I'd pretend to pull one out too... the kids had thier eyes glued to me, it was fantastic!
We did colouring in and letters for the missioanries and I told teh kids that after Primary had finished they could take thier pictures and go find the Missionaries to give it to them... Wow did they love that. They all came up to me when Primary was over jumping excitedly for thier picture/letter, one boy got so excited he ran off with the others before he even got his picture to give to them. It was really awesome to see them so excited about giving.
I prayed alot this past week for help with my class, to be able to teach them and for them to understand/listen. I truly feel my prayers were answered... It is a scary age-group to teach nad I'm still not fully confident, but they are a funny age-group too.
This coming week we are expanding on Missionaries so we'll see what we can come up with!

Primary Week 1

I taught my first lesson in primary today (Children under the age of 12) and I got the CTR 4's which were all the 5 year old kids. My niece is in this class so I was pretty happy about that.
I've been pretty nervous about teaching them because I'm not overly great with kids unless I'm related, IYKWIM.
So when I got to class there were 3 little girls hiding underneath the table, they told me they were hiding from their new teacher... I had to give them the sad news that I was the teacher. next a quiet little polynesian boy came in with his dad and took a seat, then his dad left. Chairs were everywhere, there was no real order in the room. The we had a flame-haired little girl come in with a gigantic smile. Another blonde boy with huge lungs was the next to be escorted in and lastly we had a shy boy (who is actually in the older class, but those boys are too rough) come in, it was his birthday on Friday so we got to practice our singing skills for him.
The class just seemed to be getting bigger and bigger...
Our lesson was on forgiveness and what I take for granted they don't understand. We had to explain what forgiveness meant and why we use it... teaching this level of class is definately going to test my understanding of things and my ability to communicate.
Some kids in the class couldn't keep track of what we were talking about, some were always loud and distracting, others would barely say a word! Others would be moving constantly, I did move the chairs in order but by halfway through class you wouldn't be able to tell.
You could tell some were really trying and others were just there because they were told too.
I really don't know how I'm going to go with them... I really don't.
Next week's lesson is on Missionary Work which should be easier to teach, I'm thinking of making little missionary badges for them and we are going to draw pictures and letters for the missionaries we have out serving at the moment.
I'm also thinking of doing a "reverence jar", so when they are good, the lolly goes in, when they are bad, loly comes out, and when they fill the jar they get to share the lollies together.
And I was also thinking of doing a folder/scrapbook for each kid to track our lessons, so the handout for each lesson goes in this folder and then at the end of the year they get to keep it and show their parents all the cool things they've done.
What are your thoughts?

I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go, Dear Lord

Sure, singing these words in a hymn and then actually doing them are kinda 2 different things...
I was asked some weeks ago if I felt comfortable with a calling, I'd been coming back to church for a little while now and getting myself involved and Bishop felt strongly that I should receive a calling. (A calling is like a voluntry church job that God gives you.) I had also felt like I wanted a calling so I was more than happy to accept. Bishop said he had to talk to his Ward Leaders and Pray about where I would be best needed at this time.
So yesterday he called me into his office and advised me that he had prayerfully considered with his cousellors where I would be best to serve.
I'm sitting there knowing inside he was going to say Primary and hoping he would say Relief Society...
"On the Primary Board."
Me: "What's a Primary Board?"
So he then had to explain the set-up of Primary to me (Oh, Primary is the little kids up to 11 y.o.). Since I haven't been in primary for over half my life, I'm a bit out of touch...
He also said that inlight of what happened to my Dad (My Dad had a bad push-bike accident on Friday and is currently in High Dependent Unit at out local hospital... He will be fine though, He's still cheeky as ever and a very determined man.) they were considering not talking to me today about it (they were already 3 weeks later than they had originally told me). I replied to Bishop, "Dad would want me to take this calling regardless of what is happening to anyone." and he would. I was a bit shocked that they had considered that. Bishop's response was "I thought that about your Dad too."
So, after meeting with Bishop I ram into our current Primary president, she was also my Young Women's president when I was in YW. "Hello Boss." She laughed "Haha, YES!" clapping her hands together... I take it from her reaction that she was happy to have me. So she got me a couple of manuals incase I need to teach this week coming and then I should recieve my actual class.

I want to do really well at this calling, and I think it's funny that I got it, as I am not really a fan of other people's kids... like it's all good if they are related, like my nieces and nephews and also a few select kids as well (landlord's grandkids, my niece's friends... that's about it...) but I really want kids... So i think this is Heavenly Father's way of helping me develop my "kid skills"... after all in every calling there is a lesson to be learnt.
I've also been thinking for a while that I need to get back into creative me, like I used to be, and well, HF has done it again, with Primary needing creative people in it to keep the kids interested and occupied, so he's helping me hone my creative skills too.
It can also help me help my husband. If I can help little kids understand the gospel I should be able to help him. HF is also helping me with my communication skills.
The list goes on, so yes, this is definately the calling I am meant to have, and yes, it is scaring the hell out of me!

Update!

So as usual, I'm a horrible person for not posting on here sooner...
I haven't done anymore on my Personal Progress, My bad...
But!
We are still hvaing the missionaries over at least once a week. Our last lesson was on the Priesthood which was really exsciting becasue my husband received the Aaronic priesthood as a deacon (12 - 13 y.o. boys) but he had stopped going to church by the time he was a priest (16 - 17 y.o. boys) and didn't progress any further in the Priesthood.
The Priesthood is like a huge responsibility to serve and help others with Love, Compassion and Faith (This is my understanding of it), and they have the ability to give what we call Priesthood Blessings. Now a Priesthood Blessing, as one of our missionaries would put it... is prayer, on steroids. lol. It's more powerful and focused than the normal prayers we say to Heavenly Father. They are given for specific reasons, whether someone is sick or they have a test coming up they are really worried about etc.
And my Husband had one a few weeks ago by the missionaries. He was getting sicka dn had his Physical Exam for work coming up in a few days. He was very, very worried that he wouldn't be able to perform. He received his blessing and when the test came round, he passed, beating his last time by 5 minutes and getting into the same category as the Elite guys in his line of work.
But then the other night, he was at my Oma's place with my brother nad my Oma was sick. She said she wanted a blessing and that's when it hit bot my husband and my brother... neither of them could do that for her.
Since then, they have both decided to prepare themselves to receive the next priesthood.
Now I don't know about the commitment level of my brother, but I know that C is pretty commited to it. He has come so far recently. He now comes to church every sunday, he does go home early, but he stays for Sacrament and Gospel Principals. The last class is a bit harder because they talk beyond his understanding which frustrates and de-motivates him I think. but as he learns things will become easier, and hopefully others will see that he hasn't been studying the scriptures for the past 20 years like they have and he doesn't see things the way they all do, so hopefully they will see that and help him.

But I'm just so happy he is coming back... He will be able to give our kids blessings, and our kids will be raised in teh Gospel and we'll be a happy family, Forever!

Note: Happy does not mean we won't ever have problems and trials... but it does mean we'll overcome them together.

Lesson Last Night

Why are we here?

What are we doing in this life?

Who am I?

Where am I going?

How do I get there?

All very big life questions that we ask ourselves over and over gain… and last night it has never been so clear to me as to the answers to all of these questions… and what makes it even better is that I think it became clear to my Husband too!

We are tying to have the missionaries over once a week, and we are undergoing the lessons that they teach to investigators in the church. Now this is important as both my Husband and I were born into the church so a lot of the “basics” we were never really taught properly as it was expected that we just already knew it… no one’s fault really…

So 2 weeks ago when the missionaries were over it came up in conversation that C was missing the standard stuff that everyone knew about church so he felt like he was behind the eight-ball from the very beginning. This then led the missionaries to ask if we’d like to receive the lessons. And boy does everything make a lot more sense when everything is explained to you in order!

And these missionaries are fantastic! They answer every single question we (mainly C) come up with. They can find it for him in both the BOM and the Bible! It’s like nothing is too hard or too challenging, and they LOVE questions! Which makes things even better, because it is the worst when you feel stupid for asking a question or even if you don’t ask it at all… we all need answers! I know for a fact that these missionaries are here right now to help C, they are right for him and what he needs to learn and grow and I am so incredibly grateful for that. Especially as I am learning so much too!

But back to my original questions… Last night’s lesson was on the Plan of Salvation, something that I’m studying at the moment, so as I move through the POS scriptures each of these questions will be answered… so stay tuned!

Missionaries

Amazing lesson with the missionaries tonight!
too tired right now but will definately let you know tomorrow!
It was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

Words of Wisdom from Glee?!?!?!

Now I know Glee is not the most upstanding and spiritual show on TV, but there was a part that I really loved in one of it's recent episodes.
A father is explaining to his son the importance of procreation. He explains that it is a special thing and that when you do it, you give a piece of yourself away. And that when your young you may not see it as emotional, just physical, but it is. It is a very emotional thing and it is a very deep connection. But this comment really struck me.

"Don't throw yourself around like you don't matter. Because you do. You matter."

This is something I did not expect from this show. Don't do it just because you can. Which is so true. So many times we turn on the TV, or the radio, or even just talking to our friends and it's totally acceptable. But it's not. We try to tell our kids and family that, but they don't want to listen because we are 'old' or we 'don't understand'... But how many of them are taught to look at it like this? I wasn't. I was basically told "Don't do it. End of story." 

That's not enough, especially for youth, they are inquizitive and curious and testing, they will push the boundries just because they want to see how far they can go. Saying "no" just won't cut it. There has to be a deeper connection, and emotional grasp to it for them to believe it and live it. And I just thought this was great... Your self-worth is a factor. You matter more than an instants gratification. You are more important than satisfying someone's wants. Your amazing, wonderful, beautiful and a shining example of strength and character when you can be happy in who you are and not need to stop down to others and their expectations, or social acceptances. Afterall, it's living in the world not of it that seperates the mediocre from the great.

There is only one person out there who will prove they love you strong enough, acccept you, support you, build you up and walk alongside you that you should ever share this sacred and deeply life-changing act with. Your husband or wife. They have walked the hard yards with you, they have stuck by you, and if they are worth it they will respect you and not push you. They will understand your belief and if they are worth it, they will prove to you that they respect and support that decision. It's a cliche' but good things come to those who wait.

If anyone, and I mean ANYONE, tries to belittle someone's choice to abstain untill marriage... they, the tormentor, are the loser, and their comments or actions do not matter enough for us to worry over, be tormented by or give our freedom of choice too. It's a serious and very real issue, it takes much strength, courage and endurance, I totally understand that, but that's what makes it worth it. That's what makes it important and that's what counts. It proves that you matter. Because you do... each and every single one of you matter more than you'll ever know - don't let anyone diminish that.

PoS Scriptures Part 1

As part of re-doing my Personal Progress and more specifically my first Value Experience I need to read some scriptures relating to the Plan of Salvation, and discuss them with "my class" (being you, the reader, and my FSIL)
The first scripture I was to read is found in 1st Corinthians 15:22

"For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive."

So what do I take away from this? What does it mean?

Let's break it up a bit, the start "For as in Adam all die". Adam is from Adam and Eve, and when they partook of the forbidden fruit they opened mankind up to a physical death. Hence "all die" because it is enevitable that we all will.

"in Christ shall all be made alive"

We hear it alot, Christ died so that we might live. And he did. He experienced everything that we ever will and more, he took upon him all of our sorrow, our pain, sins, mistakes, wrongdoings etc all so we can have the oppurunity to live with our Father in Heaven forever. Through his Atonement, and our earnest repentance we can live with God again. hence "made alive"

But "in Christ shall all be made alive" can also be looked at in a different way. In a literal way, have you ever heard someone say "I feel so alive!"? It's a feeling of freedom, energy, power, control, joy, peace, excitement, invincability... nothing can stop them... nothing can tempt them, nothing take take hold because they are so full of life! Christ can give us that through the Gospel. his teachings bring as all of those things, they show us how to live them all each day to have them continually in our lives, so we are better able to fight off the temptations of Satan and hold fast to the truth. 
Iam also asked to apply the scriptures I am reading to three questions:

1. How does knowing this affect my actions?

2. How does knowing this affect my understanding of my identity?

3. How has knowing this strengthened my faith?

I'll start with 1. Knowing this has helped me choose because I know that repentance is a real process, it has real results nad I either choose to repent or I procrastinate it. And choosing the right things and acting on them brings me to a greater sense of feeling alive, and as I want to feel good all the time, I'm more inclined to choose the right to achieve these feelings.

2.  Identity... Who am I? Well, the Primary answer is "I am a Child of God." But more specifically, If christ has endured everythign I have/will endure than I have been thought of personally. As an Individual. My thoughts, my emotions, my reactions, my pain, my happiness, my passions, my desires, my fears, my worries, my concerns... everything. I am only a speck of sand but a speck that is loved nad has been taken into account over and over again. I'm loved. Beyond anything I will ever be able to comprehend and because I'm loved Christ went through all the pain possible for me, and God allowed it so I can be with Him again... because he loves me. 
3. This has strengthened my faith because it reaffirms everything I "know" already, but with feeling. I am understanding it better as I grow older and because of that I am more firm in my belief of it. My faith is stronger because I want ti to be, I'm letting it, I'm acting on it to be stronger. As they say... Knowledge is Power. 

Plan of Salvation photo

It's not the best photo but this is my representation of the Plan of Salvation so far.
The white circle in the left top corner is the pre-existence, underneath is the veil we pass through to come to Mortality (the blue circle). followed by our physical death. then the white circle with teh line across is is Spirit Paradise/Spirit Prison. Another Swish is the ressurection, then Judgement and the right side is the three degrees of glory... Celestial (The Sun), Terestial (The Moon) and Telestial (The Stars).
It's on a canvas and was painted blue background and then glued on paper. Could have been more creative I guess but It was my first try...
I'm going to see if my FSIL want to meet up tonight to talk about it or not... so stay tuned.

Prayers Are Answered

Some may say coincidence, but I don't believe this is.

I lost my Mother to cancer when I was younger and she battled for ages before moving on to the next life.
And I remember sitting in the hospital praying to Heavenly Father that she would pass away in her sleep, that she wouldn't feel the pain of it and it would be gentle. My prayer wasn't a verbal one, it was said in my head whilst I was in the hospital room with all my family. None of them would have even known I was praying, I would have just looked like I was sitting in the chair in the corner sulking.
I didn't get my answer straight away (THANKFULLY!) it took over a year for my prayer to be answered but I was told one morning that she passed in her sleep, most likely no pain felt from it at all. It horrible to hear she was gone, but comforting to know he heard my plea.
This started my testimony in Prayer.

My next experience is more a personal revelation experience, a few of years later.
I was 14 and on my first Youth Convention. (Convention is a weekend where all the Youth (14 - 17 y.o.) get together and participate in activities, church stuff, dances, etc... it's really cool, and this particular one was on an island!) Anyway, being a teenage girl, I was interested in the opposite sex. And there was this one guy that I thought I liked but I'd have to wait till I was 16 and he probably didn't even like me that way anyway...
And not only that but being surrounded by the Gospel and people who love and live it daily, having the examples all around me, the Spirit so strong in meetings, the constant reminder of Love, Compassion, Hope, Faith, Charity, Excitement, Morality and Virtue, Modesty, Fun, Learning and so on... It just created a different atmosphere than anywhere else! I wanted to be there, I wanted to stay there. You grow so close to eachother and you don't want to lose the good, no, GREAT feeling you have all the time. Most unlike...say... School.
When I got back to school I seriously felt the difference, and I wasn't a fan. I looked at the boys on convention and compared them to the boys at school. I compared my church friends to my school friends. I compared how I felt here to how I felt there.

So one night it was really bugging me. I had already been sent to bed for the night. And as I was laying there in my bed, I prayed. It was more like a conversation, a trying to figure out in my head what all this meant (it looks pretty obvious when you type it but when I was 14 I was mighty confused.) I was discussing the different feelings, options and what the outcomes would be. I was talking to Heavenly Father and I was talking to myself (I know that sounds crazy...). I was crying during my prayer, I wanted to know what I was supposed to do about it all.

When I finished praying I laid there staring at the roof for a bit. I shared a room with my little sister (6 years younger, so age 8) and as our house had been extended up a level we had the old master bedroom complete with an ensuite. Our room opened up to the loungeroom and through the loungeroom was a tiled area (kitchen, dining and rumpus) and then the stairs to "Upstairs" (Mum n Dad's section - NO KIDS ZONE). My Mum (My Dad got remarried in 2000) always wore high heels and you could hear her walk across from the stairs across the tiles and you could tell if she was coming for our room. I had it down to an art!
 So after my prayer I had a strong impression that I needed to read my scriptures. But I couldn't just pull them out and start reading because the light would be able to be seen from under my door and I would get in trouble for still being awake, especially with my little sister asleep in the same room. So I took my scriptures, went into the ensuite, closed the door and put a towel along the crack... Taking No Chances.
I sat there, on the floor, looking at my scriptures. I could hear the high heels walking across the tiles... I froze. I sat there for probably about 10 minutes waiting for the door to open and me get in trouble. It didn't open... I held my scriptures in my hands, with the spine along the floor and let them fall open.
It opened to the Bible... Proverbs 3: 5-6.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

I cried.

It was so clear! It was pretty much screaming at me... "Why are you worrying yourself with this? This is not what is important. Do as I ask and everything will fall into place. I'll look after you, I know what you want, I know what you need. Let me help you. Don't let this worry you at all."
I was overcome with happiness and excitement, I was bursting with what felt like a glow... warmth from my core emmanating out. My whole being felt amazing! I knew at the point in time that the Church was True, God is Real and I am to rely on him to achieve and be what I want to be. I will marry a wonderful man and he will support me in the Gospel and in my decisions. He'll be alongside, not over me. That is what I wanted. That is what I desired. And I felt the promise.
(on a side note: when I later discussed this experience with Mum, I found out that she was in bed early and was not awake and walking around. So I firmly believe that the high heels I heard were Satan trying to stop me from opening those Scriptures.)
I recieved an immediate answer to my concerns but I have also since received an answer as well.
When I was extremely active in the Church - Institute every Tuesday, YSA Representative, Lived with Stake YSA representative, Church every Sunday, hung out at YSA member's houses in my spare time, organized activities all the time, dances with my best friend for the YSA etc - During this time was when I became friends with someone... a boy...
My now husband.
It's taken some time but we are now at the point where he supports me going to Church, reading the Scriptures at night before bed, having the Missionaries over once, twice a week, he supports my business/career decisions, he supports me in anything I want pretty much. And he does not dominate over me, he does not make me uncomfortable, he is incredibly understading and loving and the other night when the Missionaries were over they asked him why he is investigating/re-activating himself again and he replied "well, if it is true, I want to be with Ja forever." (I am Ja and I melted!)
One prayer, answered twice. Once immediately, twice over time.

And lastly, My most recent confirmation that Prayer is a real connection between man and God.
I lost someone very close to me this past 24 hours. She was my teacher in year 4 and we have remained in contact ever since. She is a woman of strength, spirit, fun and knowledge. She was a very positive influence on my life. And a few days ago I found out that she was not in a good position and it looked like it would only get worse. I prayed that both she and her son (He went to school with me as we ar the same age.) would find comfort and peace. I prayed that whatever it was planned for her that it would be quick and peaceful. Peace was my main desire for them as I prayed.
Tonight I sadly discovered that she passed away, but gratefully discovered that she passed, as her son put it, "peacefully in her sleep". It is horrible to think of her as gone, but comforting to know that another prayer was answered and she was at peace when she passed. I know her son and daughter are hurting now, but I also know that they are wise enough to know that it was her time. I know they will receive thier peace. But it will take time.

Bottom line is that Prayers are answered. Maybe not right away, but we are taught to have patience and through time all prayers will be answered. I have a frim belief of the connection that prayer offers us to out Heavenly Father and I am grateful for this. And I say these things in teh name of Jesus Christ, AMen.

I would love to hear your stories and experiences on Prayer and it's affects in your lives.